Adventures in Warning Labels
by Karta
Summary: When the Yamis discover the strange inscriptions on various objects, it's all out war...
1. The Keyboard Warlord

Karta: Hi there, I'm Karta, the Self-proclaimed Insanity Dictator/ Authoress of Greatness.  
  
ISRU: And I'm the Immortal Shape-shifting Ruler of the Universe. I do disclaimers.  
  
DW: I'm the Duke of Whales, as in the mammal. I don't know why I'm here.  
  
Karta: Well I'm here with another story, since I'm out of ideas for my other Comedy. I hope this one is kind of funny, or at least not a complete waste of time. I sort of came up with it while looking at my computer keyboard so it's a little weird.  
  
IRSU: My turn! Karta does not own Yu-gi-oh. If she ever owns it, you should stock up on canned foods and live the rest of your life in a bomb shelter, or until the whole thing blows over.  
  
Karta: Grrr... Way to ruin my dream. Now let's began, wouldn't want you to lose interest quite yet.  
  
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Saturday is a wonderful day, to that any student would agree. However for one, Yugi Motou, the Saturday he was having would be declared greater than any other, for a variety of reasons. Reason number one; there isn't school on Saturdays. Reason two, it was a Saturday during Winter break; therefore, no school would occur for about a week. Reason number three; today was the day Yugi's new computer was delivered. Reason number four-  
  
Opps, let us forget the other reasons. The main reason Yugi was happy was the delivery of his computer.  
  
So that day little Yugi Motou set up his loveable bit of technology, or he tried to anyway. You see poor Yugi owned more than a computer. He also owns a puzzle, and this puzzle contained a Yami. While Yamis can be helpful spirits they can also be very pesky, and here is where we join Yugi.  
  
"What does this do, Aibou?" Yami, the ancient spirit of Yugi's puzzle asked, poking a strange round object.  
  
"For the last time Yami," Yugi began gritting his teeth. He was cut off as a ring came from the downstairs of the game shop he called home. "Oh thank goodness!"  
  
"Aibou?"  
  
"I need to study with Ryou today, Yami." Yugi answered the implied question, "We have a huge history test when school starts up again and I can't afford to fail. You can hang out with Ryou's Yami, you two are so much alike, I don't know why you don't talk more often." Yugi called running down the steps two at a time.  
  
Yami fumed silently. Oh, he knew why they didn't talk. Ryou's Yami, known as simply Bakura was an evil, EVIL Yami. Yami thought so anyway. His pouting was interrupted by a slam of the door.  
  
"Oh, it's you." Yami growled at the white haired spirit who walked in the room.  
  
"I'm only here because Ryou asked me to come." Bakura sounded no more pleased than Yami. He suddenly noticed the computer parts scattered across the room. "What's this? Another stupid puzzle?"  
  
"No, it's called a computer." Yami replied smugly. So what if he had asked the same question?  
  
"Hmm..." Bakura began examining the parts, while Yami started shuffling his deck to pass time. One long, flat piece, covered in squares caught his eye. He quickly noted the small, square sticker near some arrow buttons.  
  
'What's this? To reduce risk of serious injury to hands, wrists or other joints, read Safety & Comfort guide.' Bakura read with great interest, 'Serious injury, huh? Let see how this thing works...'  
  
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A few minutes later...  
  
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"Hey, Yami! I think Yugi's computer is broken." Bakura called with fake innocence. Yami looked up, too worried to really pay much attention to things like, I don't know, logic.  
  
"Really? Oh no! Maybe we can fix it before he comes back." Yami began to fret, as hard as that is to imagine.  
  
"Well I'm really stumped as to what to do. Maybe if you take a look at it you could fix it." Bakura grinned, holding something behind his back.  
  
"Maybe... Let me see." Yami ordered thoughtfully. Bakura grinned widely and whacked the Pharaoh over the head with the keyboard to Yugi's computer.  
  
"Mwhahaha! If this thing is as powerful as it's inscriptions claim I will rule the world with it by my side!!!" Bakura laughed evilly.  
  
"NO! I won't let you!" Yami jumped to his feet, "I have saved the world before and I will again!" He suddenly flung something at the keyboard knocking out of Bakura's clutches.  
  
"What's this?" Bakura asked, horrified, "The Safety & Comfort Guide! How could you know that it would conquer my mighty weapon?"  
  
"Simple, Tomb Robber. I too read that inscription. Now you will harness that evil thing's powers no more." Yami stood in a heroic fashion, with his hands on his hips, "So the world remains safe, but for how long?"  
  
This odd Saturday ended for young Yugi Motou like any other. He was no worse for wear besides a black eye gained from ending a Yami brawl in his room, but really, isn't he better off than many others who failed to read a warning label? Perhaps his lesson will be one remembered for life, or until he receives some sort of brain damage from teaching his Yami how to use the microwave...  
  
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Karta: Okay, that was odd. I'm thinking of continuing with Adventures in toothpaste, but it's up to the readers. Read & Review!  
  
Warning: To reduce risk of serious injury to hands, wrists or vital organs click the button below and review.  
  
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	2. The Milkshake Headache

Karta: It's time for toothpaste! Whoohooo!  
  
DW: Yes, don't we all just want a little time for toothpaste.  
  
Karta: Sarcasm will get you nowhere. Unless you're me that is. You don't appear to be me so all I have to say to you is... SHUT UP!  
  
ISRU: All right, all right. Karta doesn't own Yu-gi-oh.  
  
Karta: Fine. Be that way.  
  
ISRU: Now in chapter two we join our hero, or one of them, Yami.  
  
(Background:  
  
Karta: Did you say Heero? Are you talking about Heero Yuy? *Scientist cackle*  
  
DW: Do you know him do you know Heero Yuy?)  
  
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Yami sat in the bathroom and schemed. He couldn't just let Bakura get away with his crime of trying to use technology to take over the world.  
  
'Not to mention the fact that Yugi is peeved at me now.' Yami thought heatedly. 'I saved the world for Ra's sake! You think I could get an "Oh Yami you're SOO wonderful. Oh Yami you're the hottest guy I know. Oh Yami!" but NOOO. All I get is an "Oh Yami stop fighting. Oh Yami watch it. Oh my god Yami you kneed him in the eye!'  
  
"I'm so misunderstood." Yami moaned. Suddenly a thought struck him.  
  
"Bakura used technology. If he can do it why not me?" Yami jumped up off the side of the tub and began to rummage throughout Yugi's medicine cabinet.  
  
_________________________  
  
Later that night...  
  
"Yami! Have you seen my toothpaste?"  
  
"No, what would I need with anything like that?"  
  
"I suppose you wouldn't..."  
  
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The next day...  
  
"Listen up, Yami. Ryou and his Yami are coming over today and I want you to be nice." Yugi said sternly, or as sternly as he could manage.  
  
"Oh Aibou, I really do feel bad about what happened. Let me make it up to them." Yami looked thoughtful; "How about I make them one of those things you're so fond of. You know, those thick white things."  
  
"You mean a milk shake?" Yugi asked cheerfully, "Do you think you can?"  
  
"I've seen you do it a million times. I think I can handle it." Yami replied coolly. Yugi nodded and started to turn when another thought came to Yami. "Oh and Aibou? Please don't tell them who it's from. I would be dreadfully embarrassed."  
  
"Oh, I understand."  
  
_________________________  
  
Ryou stopped at Yugi's doorstep and turned to face his darker half.  
  
"Now you behave! I know you had something to do with Yami's attack." He scolded.  
  
"Yeah, yeah..." Bakura muttered. Ryou gave the door a brisk knock. When the door opened they came face to face with none other than Yugi himself.  
  
"Come on in you guys." Yugi welcomed them cheerfully. Both Ryou and his Yami seated themselves on Yugi's sofa.  
  
"Here, there's some drinks in the kitchen. Let me get them." Yugi stood up and went to find the elusive "milkshakes".  
  
In the kitchen Yami had a platter and everything ready.  
  
"Now Yugi, make sure you give this one to Bakura." He pointed to the one of to the right, "It's... uh... less sugary. You know there wasn't much sugar in Egypt so I can't imagine he would be fond of the stuff."  
  
"Oh, alright. That's so thoughtful, Yami!" Yugi whispered.  
  
"Yes, I know." Yami grinned. Yugi winked and took the tray from his darker half.  
  
Back in the living room Yugi finally returned.  
  
"Here we are." Yugi went to grab one of the milkshakes and stopped.  
  
'Which one was Bakura's?' He was a little nervous now. He also couldn't decide what to do. 'Left, right, left, right... Oh, what's the worst that could happen?'  
  
"Here Bakura." He handed Bakura the one on the left, "and Ryou."  
  
The two glanced at each other and shrugged, then drank their offered drink.  
  
Bakura seemed quite satisfied with his, although it was a little sweet for him. Ryou on the other hand thought his tasted rather... odd. However he, being the polite guest that he was, drank it down.  
  
"So Yugi, did you make these yourself?" Ryou asked, needing to know if he should refuse the next one the boy might offer.  
  
"Well he didn't want me to tell you, but I don't think it'll matter." Yugi mentally noted to apologize to Yami, "Yami made them not me."  
  
"And he didn't try to poison me?" Bakura shrugged, "I guess I was wrong about him. The Pharaoh makes a mean milkshake."  
  
Ryou briefly wondered WHAT his Yami was talking about. He told him to behave, not to lie! His milkshake was awful.  
  
"Ryou, are you okay? You look a little pale." Yugi looked concerned.  
  
"I just feel a little..." Ryou slouched over the sofa's arm.  
  
"Oh my! Ryou!" Yugi jumped up, "I'll be right back, we have poison control on speed dial."  
  
Another normal day in the Motou household ends here and now. Yugi may have remained unscathed, as did his Yami who hopped out the window moments after the drinks were handed out, but young Ryou was struck down this day by the unyielding power of toothpaste. It shows that dental hygiene come with a price. Hopefully it's one Ryou, and you, are willing to pay.  
  
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Karta: There we go! Sorry I haven't updated in a while but I was working on my other story, There's Nothing On. Plus the internet was down at my house so I had to wait until I got back to school to upload the whole thing.  
  
IRSU: Don't you have something else to do?  
  
Karta: Oh yeah! I'm going to have to thank you reviewers next time. Since there was, is, a lack of Internet I couldn't check my reviews and see if any more people read the story. Sorry!  
  
DW: And...?  
  
Karta: And... I have to thank my cousin now. He was the first to notice the warning label on the toothpaste tube. There! That's all the thanking I need to do. Also, sorry for the Gundam quote in the beginning, I couldn't help it. (Bet ya don't know who the two people we quoted are, though!) See you next chapter.  
  
Adios! 


End file.
